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Wordfull Wednesday: This is Me

September 18, 2008

Cocoa is hosting Wordfull Wednesday and this week’s theme is “This is Me.”  I thought this would be an easy topic: I’m a wife, mother, homeschooler, cellist, BYU grad, good speller.   It’s harder than I thought.  Yet here I sit trying to put myself into words.   This is me as I see myself, which may be quite different from who you see.

This is me sitting here after 11 p.m. on a Wednesday night writing Wednesday’s topic because I’m a procrastinator and always work better under pressure.

This is me being a night owl and dreading trying to beat my earlybird children out of bed even though I really ought to if I want our mornings to run smoother.

This is me eating too many Dove dark chocolates. And lemon drops.

This is me baking cookies for fun while having no idea what’s for dinner.

This is me loving to sew, yet hating to cut out patterns and fabric, thereby not sewing much.

This is me collecting penguins, ABC books, history books, music books, sheet music, cellos, stuff, more stuff. . .

This is me full of big plans, being very organized in my head, and craving an organized life, yet constantly trying to get on top of the papers and clutter that seem to surround me so I can put my big plans into action.

This is me being so much less sentimental about saving things than I ever used to be.

This is me growing up in a small town and loving the big city, and the even bigger city (NYC.)

This is me poring over maps, planning road trips, wondering when in the world I can ever take them.

This is me travelling (every so often) and always wondering what would life be like if I lived there, only to feel such a sense of homecoming when I see these Wasatch mountains again.

This is me still wishing I could have spent the summer in a cottage by the sea in Maine.

This is me SO GLAD fall is here and the bugs will die and the pollen will soon dissipate.

This is me cooking everything on high because I’m impatient and hate to waste time. 

This is me considering 5-12 hours spent watching Pride and Prejudice or Lord of the Rings a good use of my time.

This is me having a really good memory for faces and not being able to rest while watching a movie on dvd until I’ve checked the Internet movie database to figure out what obscure British costume drama I’ve seen that actor in before.

This is me trying to self-educate and read my 56 books for the year, finally feeling like I can sit down and read only to realize it’s bedtime and I could have been reading for an hour already, if I hadn’t sat down and gotten sucked into the computer.  Again.

This is me wanting to know stuff.  Google is my friend.  I love to research.

This is me being a good listener as I’m a fairly shy person and never know what to say.  That is until we get to know each other, then I’m quite talkative (but hopefully still a good listener.)

This is me practicing my cello, hoping my orchestra stand partner believes I really did earn that performance degree.

This is me teaching cello students and performing whenever I can because I was taught that if I had been blessed with talents, I should use them to bless the lives of others.

This is me loving Mozart, and Copland, and Shostakovich, and Puccini.  And Big Band.

This is me planning out a rigorous, classical education for three boys at different ages and stages and wondering if I can actually pull it off.

This is me trying to follow my plans.  I know the plans work, I just question my self-discipline.

This is me as a mommy, feeling calm reassurance in my heart knowing I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to be doing right now.

This is me absolutely loving the time I have to spend each day with my boys, watching their eyes light up as they learn new things, and taking part in the joy of discovery.

This is me still feeling selfish and craving more peace and quiet time for myself.

This is me as a wife, trying my best (usually) to take care of things on the homefront, worrying way too much, and occasionally feeling like I’m failing, while this wonderful man I’m attached to for eternity does his best to provide for us and is ever cheerful and optimistic in assuring me that all will be well.  And he listens to me cry out all my frustrations as I go through yet another refining trial.

This is me as a daughter, and granddaughter, craving knowledge about my heritage, and enjoying hours spent in front of microfilm finding out more about the strong and faithful people I am descended from.

This is me grateful for my heritage and for parents who taught me what was good and true.  This is me as a sister, lonely at times, knowing it will be a while before I can associate with my four brothers and sisters once again.

This is me trying to live up to my potential as a child of God who really knows who I am. 

          and this is me being very wordfull once again. 

This is me, who are you?

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. September 18, 2008 8:44 am

    This is ABSOLUTELY beautiful!

    What a lovely glimpse into who you are!

    Thanks for sharing with us.

  2. September 18, 2008 9:06 am

    Beautiful!!

    Even if its hard for us to put it all down in a blog, I think Cocoa was wise in choosing this topic! We are all learning so much about each other!

    If I ever make it to Montreal, you should come visit us! Its a VERY LARGE city!

  3. Tamaran permalink
    September 18, 2008 9:16 am

    This is you, an inspiration to other mothers around you. This is you, always finding fun projects that teach your boys the joy of learning. This is you, who has remembered the importance of teaching your boys the gospel along with secular learning (and they always know the right answers in Primary). This is you, a strength to me when I was struggling last spring. This is you, someone whom I idolize in all the roles you fill so well.

  4. September 18, 2008 9:48 am

    What a great post. I couldn’t help but nod and giggle a few times because many of the things you have listed sound so familiar. How many times I have made cookies or other dessert instead of dinner. And how many times I have sat and watched Pride and Prejudice and not felt like it was a waste of time. My husband and I are always playing the “what BBC costume drama have we seen that person in” game.

    You are an amazingly talented woman. You work wonders.

  5. September 18, 2008 10:16 am

    Simply beautiful. You really must work well under pressure. This is a wonderfully written post. I hope you can print it off and keep it somewhere to read later on. Maybe even make copies for all your boys to put in their journals to find later when they are older. They’ll have a written portrait of who their wonderful mother is.

  6. Mom permalink
    September 18, 2008 11:50 am

    Wow! That is a beautiful portrait of you. I hope your dear husband reads it. I am going to make a copy of it to keep. Perhaps I should do this aboout myself. Keep up the good work. You are truly inspiring.

    Love,

    Mom

  7. September 18, 2008 12:34 pm

    Hmmm, I like you.

    p.s. I saw on a Scholastic book order form an ABC book that was rather unusual:
    The Skull ABC book.
    It had different skulls from the animals whose names match the ABCs.

  8. September 18, 2008 1:32 pm

    beautiful. touching. inspiring. heartfelt. real.

    bravo.

  9. Gina permalink
    September 20, 2008 6:49 pm

    That was a wonderful read! I really feel like I know you a lot better! Thank you for sharing that!

  10. September 20, 2008 10:56 pm

    Absolutely loved this. No wonder I like you so much! 🙂

  11. September 21, 2008 5:26 pm

    This was just too wonderful. You are so fabulous! This is me….wanting a nap, a pedicure and a day off:)

  12. September 21, 2008 11:54 pm

    Except for the shyness and the beautiful cello playing, we have a lot of similarities.

    I love how you wrote about this topic.

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