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December 16, 2008

Big change– 

My husband was released yesterday from serving as the bishop of our LDS ward, a calling he’s held for the past 4 1/2 years.  His first counselor has moved, and rather than call another counselor for five months, they opted to release the entire bishopric. 

I’m full of mixed emotions right now that I can’t even identify.  I’m always full of mixed emotions in December anyway.  It’s a hard month for me.  This is a big change for us and I’m not that fond of change.  I like things to stay like they are, stay predictable, stay comfortable. 🙂  This could also bring about a lot more change in our lives.

I know now that I’m feeling relief.  We did it.  He served, I think he served well, and I survived on the homefront.  It will be nice to not have him gone on Sundays and be essentially on call for members of the ward the rest of the week.  Although I don’t know that I’ll see him too much more than before.  He still has a very demanding and time consuming day job plus all the overtime and other assignments he frequently gets.  He did weekly interviews on a night when I was gone from home teaching cello students anyway. 

But it was so nice to have him home yesterday afternoon and evening!  It will make a difference in our Sundays.   (He won’t have to do tithing settlement this year!)  C doesn’t remember him not being bishop and D wasn’t even here yet when he was first sustained.  I will enjoy spending the Sabbath day together as a family, while it lasts anyway. 

I’m feeling grateful for his service and his willingness to serve in that capacity knowing that it would mean hours away from us.  He was really glad that he was able to do A’s baptism interview and conduct his baptismal service last week.  He’s been such a good example of service to his sons.  When he was first called, there was also never any question in my mind that I would support him and take care of our home and family while he was not there.  I don’t think I questioned whether I could either.  After the fact though, I’ve realized just how hard it has been and how much I have gone through to support him in this calling. 

I think I can honestly say that the past four years have been some of the hardest years of my life, but not just in terms of him being gone a lot.  We have had so many trials thrown our way that we’ve had to endure.  I’ve wondered if I was really going to make it some days.  But it has also been one of the most blessed periods of our lives.  We’ve felt so much love and support from ward members and have been strengthened by their prayers.  It’s helped me get through a lot of hard days.  I will miss that feeling.  I have a real testimony that when we are called upon to fulfill difficult assignments and serve the Lord, and when we put our best effort into it, even when we don’t think we are capable, we will be blessed, immeasurably. 

Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven, a phrase from the hymn “Praise to the Man” has been going through my head all week.

We feel like we’ve sacrificed some things in our lives, aside from time.  I’m starting to feel excited for what new changes may come in our lives.

DH has a side business that’s kind of been sitting on the shelf for the past several years that could improve our finances.  There are only so many hours in the day and he just hasn’t had the time or energy to do more with it.  Maybe now’s the time. . .

Maybe some promised personal blessings will finally come to pass.  I’ve felt like some of my desires have been put on hold for the last little while.  Other than as a trial of my faith, I don’t know why, except maybe it wasn’t the right time with DH’s calling.  Maybe now. . .

Maybe we’ll move.  We thought for sure we would need to move out of this little house long before his probable 5 years as bishop were up.  We never planned to be here this long, but every time we thought we might need to move on, life just didn’t turn out that way, it didn’t feel right to move and so here we are.  But we really need a bigger yard for these growing boys. . . 

(But I also abhor moving, I don’t like suburbia, and I’ve collected way too much “stuff” in the  past 6 1/2 years that needs to be sorted through, so Tamaran, Nicole, and anybody else from the ward reading this, don’t worry just yet!) 

It’s a little scary and yet kind of exciting to be sitting here on the edge of . . . something. 

Something new.


11 Comments leave one →
  1. Karie permalink
    December 16, 2008 5:01 am

    I just thought I’d respond and say I, too, hate change. But unfortunately it comes anyway, so we must just deal and smile and go on. 🙂

  2. December 16, 2008 8:46 am

    Thanks for the reassurance that you aren’t moving on Saturday. I’m having a hard enough time having Holly go! I’ll be excited for you when it comes. I know change is hard, but there is so much room for growth and excitement and adventures.

    I agree with you needing a bigger yard for your boys.

    Hope this change is good for you. I’m excited for this change. Having Jon come home with me on Sunday was amazing! I didn’t realize that there is so much time after 12:00!

    I know December is hard for you. Let me know if there is anything that I can do.

  3. December 16, 2008 8:54 am

    Oh wow! That is a very big change.
    I love this post for so many reasons, K. First, it’s just so well written. 🙂 I love the example of faith, diligence, sacrifice and hope. I also love that you’re honest about your feelings. It makes me love you so much more!

    I know that Lord will continue to guide you and bless you, as I’m sure He continues to need you in his great work. I pray that those promised personal blessings will be fulfilled, that you will find comfort and peace this season and (I’m purely selfish here) that you move to my neighborhood. 🙂

  4. December 16, 2008 8:58 am

    I’m so excited for you to have your husband with you on Sundays again. Mr. FR didn’t get home until 9 pm this last Sunday after getting there at 9am. Looking at you, knowing you have done makes me realize maybe I can do it too. ☺ Thanks for your example. I know who I can go to for help or at least a listening ear.

    Good luck with whatever may come next. It’s exciting and frightening all at the same time!

  5. December 16, 2008 9:59 am

    I think your hubby served wonderfully well, as did the whole bishopric. It’s always a relieved and inspired feeling after you’ve faithfully served in a calling (or supported a calling) and can look back and feel completely satisfied with how you’ve done.
    If you need help sorting (even if you don’t end up moving) let me know and I’d be glad to come help. 🙂 That can also give you a sense of accomplishment. 🙂
    Also, as Tamaran said, if you need anything, please let us know. Even if it’s just some girly time.

  6. December 16, 2008 4:49 pm

    Beautiful post! I know what you mean about change. Just when we start to feel comfortable, life waltzes in and the world is upside-down. 🙂

    I can’t wait to see what excitement the open future brings!


  7. Denise permalink
    December 16, 2008 8:59 pm

    beautifully written. Good for you and B for completing such wonderful work. I often think “bishop’s wife” should be a calling as well since it requires so much work and sacrifice as well. Hope you can enjoy having Bill home a little more!

  8. December 17, 2008 9:26 pm

    although mixed feelings are to be expected, i’m sure that you will really enjoy having him around so much more. although i was sad to give up my stewardship as RS president when bronwen was born, it was also a relief to be able to have that burden off my shoulders and to be able to focus a bit more on my family’s needs. however, we did find that within a couple of weeks it didn’t feel like i had “so much free time” anymore. i had to remember that when they issued the calling in the first place, it was not because i had so much free time on my hands. i definitely found that when you serve willingly, the lord provides the time to accomplish what is needful.

  9. December 18, 2008 7:54 am

    So when I first came over here to see the change I thought, “Oooo, snow, what a fun change.” Then I got to this post and realized, “WHOAH, big change!”

    I can’t even imagine the mix of emotions that comes with the receiving and releasing of this calling. I do know what it is like feeling like you are sitting on the edge of big changes to come as I am sitting on that ledge myself. I’m mostly excited and a bit anxious, nervous, worried. But I like exitement and I wouldn’t mind a move.

    I’m hoping your new adventures are fun and exciting and bring forth good things for you and your family.

  10. December 18, 2008 10:34 am

    I offer my congratulations to your family on completing that calling so faithfully.
    AND Congratulations on surviving it. 🙂
    We are so happy that we could be a small part of that experience. Please tell your husband for us that we are happy for him.
    (I believe that being a bishopric wife is a calling and a very important one.)
    Good luck on the adjustments and enjoy all the new time together. 🙂
    You know, Rose Park is a really nice area…only two or three miles away from downtown… lol

  11. Tammy permalink
    January 7, 2009 8:51 pm

    That definitely will be a huge change. I can’t imagine what the 2 of you are feeling….

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