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There’s something about December

December 7, 2009

In my last post, I asked the question, “Who has babies this time of year anyway?”  I’m resigned to spending every Thanksgiving week planning for D’s birthday with celebrations to include cake and presents,and then 6 days later, repeating the process for A and Mom.  I always feel like we have to get the birthdays out of the way, especially if we have a party with children included, before we can even think about Christmas and decorating.  There’s only so much I can focus on at a time.

And now we’re expecting our third child at this same time of year.  Even though he’s not due until January 3, he’ll probably make an appearance before Christmas.  If he doesn’t, my doctor said he’d induce me that next week if I want.  Do I want?  It’s another tax credit… But honestly, he doesn’t think we’ll even be having that conversation.  I’ve made it to December and any day is fair game in his eyes with my labor and delivery history.  So there’s another post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas baby.  Incidentally, the baby I miscarried two years ago was due in December as well.  What’s up with that? 

Disclaimer:  I did not plan any of them, or should I say, despite my best efforts at planning, Heavenly Father has always had his own ideas for me.

I realized something the other day though.  Late fall and winter, and December especially, is a tough time to get through.  All four of my siblings who were handicapped passed away at this time of year.  My sister Rebekah died in November (1995), Jenny in January (1998), and my two brothers both passed away the week of Christmas (2001 and 2002.)  The Christmas season in particular is a very bittersweet time for me.  I’ve always loved this holiday the most: the decorations, the music, giving gifts, making treats.  But there are just so many memories, both sweet and yet difficult that come welling up inside me now.  Today was particularly hard for me.  OK, who am I kidding, this whole week has been difficult as I turned over the calendar page to December and thought about Christmases past and the tears have come, unbidden.

But maybe, just maybe, I’ve been given the gift of bringing new life into this world at this particular time of year so that we can celebrate life and an ever-expanding family circle.  While we always take time out of some of the holiday “busyness” to visit the cemetery and honor those who have passed on, and as we remember their “deathdays”, it is also a blessing to have so many birthdays to remember at the same time.  Once again, we will have a newborn at Christmastime, and the opportunity in subsequent years to celebrate yet another birthday (during what can easily be the craziest time of  year) even as we celebrate the birth of another babe born long ago, the one who makes it possible for us to be reunited one day as a family.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. December 7, 2009 9:05 am

    How sweet–a birth to help celebrate not only the most sacred Birth of all, but also to help ease that feeling of loss. I’m so happy for you! 🙂

  2. December 7, 2009 9:48 am

    Your perspective on this is beautiful! What a blessing to be able to see the good along with the bad. I hope all goes well for you when it comes time to deliver.

  3. December 7, 2009 10:18 am

    Just so you know, I always think about you more during this time of year. I’m sorry that I never have time to visit. I’m always running to Primary. I joke that the blog is the only way we keep up on what is going on in each others lives–but, sadly, it is true.

    I love your last paragraph. Beautifully stated.

  4. December 7, 2009 9:38 pm

    I’ve heard that allergies can make you less fertile in some parts of the year, resulting in more babies at certain times. Good luck with your labor. And I echo what Tamaran said: that last post is beautiful. The whole post is really thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing such personal things, and {{hugs}} to get through such an emotional season.

  5. December 8, 2009 7:41 am

    Thank you for opening up and being so honest with us. Beautiful persepective. Beautifully written. I wish you all the best! (((( HUGS ))))

  6. December 8, 2009 8:25 am

    December really is an emotional time of year for you and your family. Add that to the stress and business of the Christmas Season I can only image in roller coster you feel like you are riding. I hope all goes well over the coming weeks and that the birth of this new little baby goes smoothly!

  7. December 8, 2009 1:38 pm

    Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts. I haven’t been reading your blog long enough to know you had lost four siblings. I enjoyed reading about your sisters.

    I too lost family members in the month of December, my brother and my mother, both within two weeks of each other. It has been 14 years now but still I have moments of sadness during this time of year. Especially as I watch people out with their moms or grandma’s.

    I wish you well with your upcoming arrival. My oldest was born in early January and I always felt like I had a special bond with “Mary, the mother of Jesus” during that Christmas! 🙂

  8. December 9, 2009 5:38 am

    December is hard for us too…. we lost 5 people in two years. I love your blog by the way…
    I am accepting submissions for an LDS based homeschool book that I will be
    publishing next year! If you are interested in adding to it, check out or email me at
    Im looking for a day in the life of…. type submissions, or why you
    personally chose to homeschool your family, etc. Also any resources that
    can be included in the resource section! 😉
    Im hoping to weed through them from now until February, choose what Im
    going to include, then get payment out to those who will be included,
    then have the book finished and published by the end of March!!!
    Can’t wait!!! We need a good lds based homeschool book! I havent
    found any books on it! If you know of any, let me know, I really want
    to read them!!! Thanks! Hope you are having a wonderful
    Christmas season! We have been focusing on Christ and service this
    month and it has been wonderful!
    With Love,

  9. December 13, 2009 2:13 am

    Beautiful insights. Thanks for opening up to us like this. I hope that as you continue to remember and consider this season, you will know how much your example means to so many people. Thank you for being a light. I hope the rest of this month goes smoothly for you. I’m so excited and happy for you and your family!

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