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Losing my voice…

June 8, 2010

Night after night I sit here at my keyboard and…that’s it, I just sit.  By the time I get a moment of peace and quiet, I can’t seem to order my thoughts into anything coherent.  There are things I want to share, but I feel like I have lost my blogging voice lately. 

The blog is a great place to update family and friends on what’s going on at our house.  It’s a nice way to showcase what we’re learning.  I’m trying not to let it turn into a baby scrapbook too much (but at least E will have one!) and occasionally I put my deep thoughts about things here, although deep thoughts are becoming much less frequent due to said baby and the amount of sleep I seem to get lately. ( Uninterrupted sleep, anyway–I got up three times in six hours last night.  This child just doesn’t like to stay asleep.  No wonder I just can’t seem to think straight!)

I started blogging in the first place so my children would have a record of our days together.  Especially with a new little addition, I don’t want to get out of the habit of creating that record.  And maybe that’s what I need to do–just share our days again.  I get caught up in thinking I should only write when I have something spectacular to say, with great insight and clarity of thought.  That’s just not happening these days.  (Not that it ever did.  Writing is tedious for me.) 

But I can be chatty.  Let’s be chatty.

I got some (needed) time out to myself today–to shop, mainly for groceries, but it counts!  Although I shouldn’t grocery shop alone.  I’m so used to talking to the boys about everything we’re looking for when we shop that I have to try extra hard when I’m alone not to talk to myself.  People tend to look at me funny, but I did find 10 pounds of potatoes for only 68 cents at Walmart.  I hate going to Walmart, but it had the toilet paper I needed to stock up on as we were down to our last two rolls (how did that happen?) and it was the closest store to the other place I needed to run to and I was trying to hurry so DH could take the boys up to the Utah Museum of Natural History (or the dinosaur museum as we call it) as it’s free admission on the first Monday of every month. 

I was then hoping for a little bit of quiet alone time while they were gone and E was napping, but E woke up.  Did I mention he doesn’t like to stay asleep?  It was his third nap of the day though and the other two were actually pretty long so I got him up and he sat in his chair while I made dinner and brownies for Family Home Evening.  I should say he watched my every move like a hawk.  He is so aware of everything around him these days, which is partly why I think he has a hard time winding down to sleep.  The world is just so exciting.  But I think he actually enjoyed a couple of hours without his brothers.  No one was in his face, touching him, hugging him, picking him up, putting him down.  I liked it too.  His baby days are passing so quickly and I love to just sit and look into his eyes as he watches me and wonder what he’s thinking.  It was calm and peaceful, just the two of us.  

Then everybody else came home. 🙂

We had a great dinnertime together though and E went right to sleep tonight, after which we had a good talk about creating a house of order for family home evening.  Our house has not been a house of order in recent months, but we made plans to deal with some of the worst offenders tomorrow.  Then we ate brownies.  They were good.

(DH and I ate about three more brownies each after the boys went to bed, but you didn’t hear that from me.)

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 8, 2010 9:10 am

    Those little snatches of QUIET can make the rest of the day so much more bearable. We’ve been working on putting our house in order too. So much to work on! How do I let it slip so bad?

    I can’t believe E is 5 months old already! They grow so fast.

  2. June 8, 2010 3:19 pm

    I too haven’t felt like I had much to talk about lately. My kids and I just seem to be doing the same things day in and day out. I just don’t have any profound things to share I guess. Or else, as you said deep thoughts are for those with more sleep. Molly still gets up at least once and often twice in the night. I know…. at 10 months they should be sleeping through the night. I just never seem to have mastered that trick. Mine have all waited until about a year to do that.

    Alone time is very infrequent around here too. So any computer time I get is often done with a baby in the lap or getting into things under my feet or around the desk. Not the greatest environment for writing anything coherent.

    Enjoy little E. They do grow up quickly. I can’t believe how quickly Molly is turning into a toddler. She is standing up on her own now and it won’t be long before she is walking. Babyhood doesn’t last long.

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