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Sleep, no sleep, practice

October 7, 2010

I give up.  I just cannot organize my thoughts cohesively.  I’ve been going since 5:30 a.m. and I really ought to be in bed.  So here’s just a short rundown of what’s on my mind.

  • While I was at orchestra last night, DH decided that E should sleep in his crib in the boys’ bedroom last night for a change.
  • Why now?  I don’t know.
  • It was fine until E woke up at 5:30 in a strange bed (for nighttime anyway) and started screaming.
  • Which woke up me, DH, A, and C.
  • DH conveniently had to get ready for work just then and two of the rest of us never could go back to sleep.
  • I’ll let you guess which two.
  • Yes, I’ve been wanting to get up earlier in the morning, but anything with a 5: in it is just too early for me still.
  • D was well rested today.
  • I let A and C sleep in past 9:00 because I felt sorry for them having to share their room with their baby brother and being awakened by his screaming in the dark hours of the morning.
  • Our next house will have more than 2 bedrooms.
  • No, we haven’t found a house yet and no, I have no idea when we will.  Let’s not talk about it.
  • But it will have bedrooms.
  • And bathrooms.  I’m tired of sharing my bathroom with little boys.
  • And someone is always in there when I need to go!
  • Back to sleeping arrangements–What do we do with the older three while the little one is trying to go to sleep at night in their room?
  • This is the very reason I’ve been avoiding making this change.  How do these four boys share the same room?
  • Tonight we cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, but then they just wandered aimlessly until they could go in and get their pajamas very quietly.  (Which they need to work on.)
  • I was wandering aimlessly because I was incredibly antsy for them to go to bed.  I needed practice time with no one talking to me or asking me one more question.
  • It’s amazing what some good practice sessions will do for your stress levels when you know you have a concert coming up and you couldn’t play quite a few spots last week.
  • Now I can almost play those wretched measures in Prokofiev up to tempo. (Cinderella Suite, the “Quarrel” movement)
  • It’s so nice to go to rehearsal and realize your practicing really is paying off.
  • Especially when most of said practicing takes place late at night when everyone else is finally asleep, even though your brain feels pretty toasted at that point.
  • Increased homeschool load + busy baby = not very many chances at practicing while the sun shines.
  • Let’s not even discuss housework.
  • I am so incredibly worn out by the end of each and every day.
  • It seems like there is just so much more to juggle this year.
  • And I never get enough sleep, which brings me back to…
  • I wonder what time he’ll wake me up tomorrow morning?
5 Comments leave one →
  1. Crystal permalink
    October 7, 2010 11:50 am

    I feel your sleep pain 🙂 And completely understand about not having enough time and energy. I keep getting reminded that if I put my two older ones in school it would be easier for ME. But I don’t think it would be easier, just a whole new set of difficulties in a different way. Also, I still would have 3 children 3 yrs old and under in the home, that’s not easy. Ok, sorry to go off on a rant of my own. I just wanted to say hi and I understand and wish we were closer to chat more!

  2. October 7, 2010 1:56 pm

    Molly has been sleeping in our closet since she was born. I have no idea when we will ever get her into the “girl’s” room. She does sleep through the night (once she hit 1 year old and I weaned her) which is good and leaves me feeling rested but eventually we will need to have our closet back. Sophie doesn’t go to bed easily. It is work, every night, to get her to finally calm down and sleep. Which is why Molly is not going into that room anytime soon.

    Juggling children is so hard and throw in school work and house work and church work and every other demand on our attention it is next to impossible. Something has to give and it is usually house work around here. I am tired of living in such a disaster but there isn’t a whole lot I can do about it. I can’t do it all.

    At least you get a little music practice in. I go to band practice each week and fumble through my parts hoping to hit the first and the last notes of runs and leaving out whole passages at times. I keep hoping to practice but never actually do. The days are filled with too many other things.

    Anyway…. I feel your pain and read your post knowing exactly how you are feeling.

  3. October 8, 2010 1:45 pm

    Oh, the pitfalls of motherhood. I think we’ve all been there – um, still are there. I try to remind myself to just breathe because it won’t be this way forever. Someday (which seems so very far away today) I will be wandering around the house restless and unsettled, not because bedtime can’t seem to come fast enough and the noise level is grating on my nerves, but because there is the quiet and stillness I now crave but not one left home to tuck into bed. I know that doesn’t help in the middle of the chaos.

  4. October 10, 2010 9:34 pm

    It’ll get better…not sure when,but eventually it will. Atleast that’s what I keep telling myself 🙂
    Hang in there!

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