1 month to go (but hopefully less)
I’ve caught E’s head cold and for the past three nights have hardly been able to sleep at all because I can’t breathe. The good thing? It makes getting up every 2-3 hours to nurse a newborn sound appealing. If I can breathe at that point, I’ll probably be more rested than I am right now. I can hardly wait!
I probably shouldn’t blog when I’m ornery (it’s been one of those days!) but I’ve been trying to write this post since the above picture was taken at the half-way point of this pregnancy!
Somewhere back in June I thought maybe I should document this pregnancy on more of a daily basis than I had ever done before. But who knows what happened? I probably either than threw up or fell asleep and needless to say I didn’t follow through with that little plan so I’m attempting to catch up a little bit here, just so I can remember.
And I’m throwing in some of the belly pictures we’ve taken as well. Might as well remember what I looked like too.
Ten days ago we were marvelling about how I had six weeks to go. Six weeks is not a very long time at all! And yet when I woke up the next morning, the thought of feeling that sore 42 more days was almost unbearable. It’s to the point I hardly feel better in the morning than I do when I go to bed.
Although it’s hard to judge when my last pregnancy was four years ago, and the previous one was five years before that, I really do think this has been my hardest pregnancy ever. I don’t know if that’s because of my age or the fact that it’s a girl this time around, but it has been more difficult. I know that being pregnant means giving up your body for 9 months to grow another little person, not mention the pain of childbirth, but I’ve never felt the actual physical sacrifice of this ordeal quite so keenly as I have this time around.
It’s been a little over two months since I’ve thrown up anything (yay!) but I’ve definitely had a harder time with food than with any of my other pregnancies. I’ve thrown up pretty much everything. Fresh fruits and vegetables were on the especially to be avoided list. I don’t know why, but it made having morning sickness through the entire summer perfectly miserable. I usually live on fruits and veggies in the summer months and not being able to just put a carrot stick in my mouth was awful. I still can only eat them in very small amounts. If we slice an apple, I can eat one or two slices only. We had fresh pineapple on Christmas morning and I think I ate too much the next day and consequently felt sick for most of the afternoon. I can eat them cooked for the most part, but I’ve so missed eating fresh apples, and peaches, and salads. I told DH we need a date to an all-you-can-eat salad bar once this baby comes. It won’t make up for 7 months without lettuce, but it’s a start.
Oddly enough I can eat tomatoes. With my last pregnancy, anything tomato-based just tasted awful which eliminated all pizza, pasta sauces, tomato-based soups–half of our dinner menus in fact. So that was a nice change this time around. Orange juice is still a no-no though, as it has been through five pregnancies and counting.
Grains made me throw up a lot; I could never just eat a cracker when I felt sick. They generally made me more sick. I wondered if it was due to preservatives because I did much better with breads or muffins that we made ourselves. Of course I was too sick to bake bread as I have been doing for the past several years. C became our expert baking powder biscuit maker there for a while.
So what was I eating? DH and I had a standing date on Fridays at DP Cheesesteaks for a while. Meat and cheese on a bun? Tasted like heaven.
Somewhere after 20 weeks I could eat a little more and didn’t feel quite so nauseated all the time. I had a good solid 14 weeks of morning sickness which, by the way, is such a misnomer! Morning-noon-and-night was more like it. I was never really not sick. That explains the summer of not-fun where I basically curled up in a ball on my bed for three months and the boys somehow took care of themselves and somehow all survived!
It took me nearly three bottles of Zofran to not throw up as much, but I still felt so sick and sometimes (I can’t believe I’m saying this) would have preferred to throw up and feel some small measure of relief. I have often wondered why, when all I really need to do is gain weight and give this baby the nutrition it needs to grow and develop properly, why can I not just eat??? Why is every mealtime such a challenge?
And then there’s the physical discomfort and yes, pain already. I always start Braxton Hicks contractions very early on (about 20 weeks) and while I know they’re practice contractions, some have gotten quite painful already. A few lately have actually brought tears to my eyes, so I think they’re finally doing something.
I’ve carried all of my babies very low, but this one is basically being held up by my pelvic bone which is highly uncomfortable. My doctor said all that padding that used to be down there isn’t there anymore. It wasn’t until I got home that I really thought, well what was it and where did it go? I still don’t know the answer to that one. Well, there’s a bladder in there. I know that! Several people at church have remarked lately on how I look just about ready to deliver! And I still have 5 weeks to go.
Then there’s the joint pain. I know joints move around and loosen up prior to delivery, but I’ve felt not aligned right for several months now and my hip joints just ache when I walk. Last week at my appointment, my doctor pointed out that most people’s joints would ache if they’d just gained 25% of their body weight in a mere 7 months and were carrying it around in one concentrated area. It makes sense. It doesn’t necessarily make me feel better, but it explains a lot!
My sciatic nerve is getting pinched more and more frequently as well. Generally lying in bed is the most comfortable position right now, at least until I try to roll over and a nerve gets pinched and I’m stuck there like a bug that got flipped onto its back and can’t get upright again.
C likes to say, “Whoa, Mom, you’re getting big!” Somehow it’s cuter when E comes up to me and pats my tummy and says, “The baby is getting bigger and bigger!” I’m sure he still has no clue about how his life is about to change, but he’s getting more and more interested as he sees my body changing.
If I had written this at 20 weeks along, after having just endured the longest, yuckiest summer of my life, where each day seemed to crawl by interminably, I’m not sure I could have put a happy ending on it. But for all the discomfort and pain I’ve been through, it has been a wonderful experience as well.
I love feeling the little kicks and big stretches of this little person inside of me (even though my doctor assures me my abs will never be the same, they’re shredded, and that’s the reason I’m feeling such big movements–there’s nothing holding her in!) Feeling those movements has always been my favorite part of pregnancy and the one thing I really miss after delivering a baby. And knowing that this is my daughter, my first baby girl, has made it a little more special somehow.
We’ve hoped for a girl. We’ve prayed for a girl. The boys have prayed for a little sister and we were pretty sure we’d have one eventually. DH actually had a blessing some years ago, before we were married that mentioned he would be the father of sons, oh, and a daughter (kind of as an afterthought.) That bothered me for a long time when we were first married, but as we started welcoming baby boys into our family, it kind of became my joke–okay, B, a daughter was mentioned. When will she come? I just knew E wouldn’t be our last baby, although at 35, it might have seemed like a good time to be done. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I am in no way, shape, or form, in charge of my fertility. It’s entirely in the Lord’s hands and I knew we would eventually be blessed with another child, although I’ll admit I was starting to wonder when, and so dearly wanted to bring a daughter into this world.
With DH’s surgery this year, financial issues, and not having moved to a new house, we were a little surprised at the timing of this child, but I have felt such peace that she is meant to come to us in the Lord’s timetable. Now we’re just a few short weeks away from meeting this little one and I can’t wait!